Just when you thought Companion was going to be the big Valentine’s Day horror crossbreed movie, along comes Heart Eyes.
Heart Eyes is about a young woman named Ally (Olivia Holt from Cloak & Dagger) who, while having a rough day at work, meets an attractive stranger named Jay (Mason Gooding from the newer Scream movies). They are forced into working together, which leads to a reluctant romance, mainly because it’s Valentine’s Day. All they have to do is survive the night. Both figuratively and literally.
See, the city where they live, Seattle, is the new hunting ground for a serial killer called The Heart Eyes Killer, or H.E.K. for short, who only comes out on this one day and stalks couples. And he has, apparently, mistaken Allie and Jay for a bona fide couple.
Yeah, Heart Eyes is a slasher romance. In fact, the movie not only perfectly understands how ridiculous both slashers and romantic comedies intrinsically are, it embraces that ridiculousness. The romance is extra-cheesy and the slashing is extra gory. Which makes the combination of the two extra-hysterical.
Now, Heart Eyes is not a better movie than Companion. But it does do some things very well. Directed by Josh Ruben (Werewolves Within) from a screenplay that was tag-teamed by Phillip Murphy (Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard), Christopher Landon (the Paranormal Activity movies), and Michael Kennedy (the awesomely named Christmas slasher It’s a Wonderful Knife), Heart Eyes just drips with parody. It hits all of the right tropes and stereotypes of what it’s trying to be, so it winds up satirizing it. And that’s a good thing.
On the romantic comedy side, it’s got everything from the meet-cute to the crisis-leads-to-love plot points. The jokes come fast and furious, with Holt and Gooding displaying quick wit and impeccable timing. And the script knows exactly what it’s doing – at one point, in the context of conversation, a friend of Ally’s (Gigi Zumbado from Bridge and Tunnel) rattles off a series of romantic comedy titles that flow flawlessly from one into the other, all while she’s competently making her point to her friend. It’s hilarious. You just have to see it.
On the slasher side, Heart Eyes himself is a great horror villain. He rips off everything about the typical psycho-killer while retaining his own recognizable figure and style. The killer is cunning and relentless, and his kills are both creative and brutal. Heart Eyes is a retro-style murderer for a new generation of slasher fans.
And another nice treat for the retro-horror fans – Jordana Brewster from The Faculty and Devon Sawa from Final Destination and Idle Hands show up as a pair of police detectives named Hobbs and Shaw – and yes, there’s a joke made about their names.
Now, for the bad. First off, the “whodunnit” in Heart Eyes is fairly easy to predict for those who have been paying attention, so once the mystery is solved, it’s less of a shocking reveal and more of an “I saw that coming.” Sure, this is also a slasher trope, but the way it’s handled feels like it should be a big twist and…well, it’s not.
Another issue with the ending, which is another slasher trope, is that the whole plan is verbally exposed in a Bond villain-esque type of diatribe. This is kind of an insult to the viewer, who would much rather figure things out on their own rather than have everything spoon-fed to them. But again…it’s all part of the slasher parody.
Despite these flaws with its third act, Heart Eyes is a very fun movie. And that seems to be the point. Josh Ruben and company are not trying to reinvent the wheel, they’re poking fun at a pair of established genres and, in doing so, have come up with something unique and punchy. Again, it’s no Companion, but now there are two alternative Valentine’s Day date night movies for couples to choose from.
GRADE: B-
MPAA Rating: R (Language|Strong Violence and Gore|Some Sexual Content)
Release Date: February 7, 2025
Running Time: 1 hour 30 minutes
Studio: Screen Gems
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